Feelin' (a little more) Groovy...

I remember, slightly, what I wanted to talk about before... About me being in a funk... Kinda down, kinda low, but I am feeling better somewhat.

I do have an update on James. His PFTs today were in the mid-60s, so they said he had to stay till Monday, at least. (He'd been hoping to get out tomorrow, but doc said no). So, he's trying to bribe Mom into getting him another model.

She said she'd look.

Anyway, I'm okay after class, even with repeating myself a lot... At least I am patient...

Until next time...

Feelin' (not so) Groovy...

Okay, well since my last post was about me trying out for Guys and Dolls I need to say that I received NO PART WHATSOEVER!!!!

Guess that answers my previous question... I can't sing... That's not true and I know it. I tried to find out why I didn't get a part, if it was my singing, my appearance, my availability, my lack of experience, what? The answer I got back was they had 70 people try out and only 35 parts to fill. Whatever. It's okay, I didn't want to be in their dumb play anyway... (pouting here).

Then there's the recent drama... James has been in the hospital for just over a week. I sent out an email to a few about it, I'm going to re-post that here, so if you've read it once, you can skip the BLUE part...

I should've done this earlier, but I got tied up, distracted, etc...

Last Sunday, I took James up to the ER at the University of Utah hospital because he had been running high fevers for a few days and said his lower lobe of his left lung felt like it was full of fluid. I had been rubbing his back ti try and help with the pain and rubbed a little on his side and he was in agony just from me touching him. He couldn't take a breath deeply or anything.

So we went up to the hospital. While in the ER they had to give him two doses of morphine to help with the pain. They admitted him Sunday night. On Monday they had him do PFTs (for those of you who do not know it stands for pulmonary function tests--and it has to do with how the lungs are functioning and taking in oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide). His PFTs were at 48 and 49 (that's % of where they should be functioning). Usually when he gets sick they admit him if they are below 75, so you can see how bad off he really was.

He also had an abscess on his skin that dermatology lanced and drained. He also has a spot on his leg where it looks like eczema or psoriasis or something and has looked bad for a long time they were trying to treat. They were also trying to figure out why he kept spiking fevers.

They also did a few more x-rays (besides the one they did in the ER). His upper right lobe of his lung is collapsed. But it didn't hurt, so he had no idea. The doctor said it is collapsed likely due to the infection. It isn't bad enough for them to insert a tube and re-inflate that way, they are just pumping him full of meds and giving him breathing treatments; and making him do physical rehab (walking in the treadmill). Yesterday I kept trying to get him to eat, he kept saying he wasn't hungry.

Anyway, Thought I'd give you all this much of an update. I was supposed to go do some stuff this morning, but I guess everything caught up to me and I was just passed out asleep. Couldn't open my eyes... I've got to go help mom sell poppies for Memorial day this afternoon and then James wanted me to come back up to the hospital tonight. So I won't be home until probably tomorrow sometime.

He'll likely be in the hospital two weeks for sure, maybe longer depending on how better he gets and stuff.

Thanks for thinking of us and such and I'll keep you posted.

I may post on my blog too, so if you want to check that, here's the address for that...

http://b-josbabblings.blogspot.com

Love you all,

B-Jo

Well, he has to do his PFTs again this afternoon. They're scheduled for 1 PM or 1:30 PM, can't remember, my brain is mush!

I have to apply for jobs and jobs and jobs!!!

My insurance through J's work is $300 a month--so not worth it for me!!! I'm debating about whether or not to keep it. Of course like mom said, "You're damned if you do and damned if you don't." About the time I decide to be rid of it, something bad would happen. I remember saying to our State Farm agent, insurance is the only stuff you buy that you hope you don't have to use. It's ridiculous.

I cannot remember if I wanted to say anything worthwhile here or not... Figures! I told you, mush brain. Jello brain, something brain tat isn't functioning properly. Go figure.

Oh well, I guess I'll figure it out later, if I do, I'll be back.

Until then....

Can I sing?

I did something a little out of the ordinary tonight...

I tried out for a play. Not just any play, but a musical. I went and sang a song to audition for Guys and Dolls. That is my absolute favorite musical of all times. I've loved it since I was little, even if I didn't get all the dialogue until I was older.

Mom even gave me a copy of the movie on DVD. (It was funny though, because I saw it when she came home from the store with it and she fibbed to me, telling me it was for Bob--I was heartbroken at the time, but really happy and excited when she gave it to me and said she fooled me with her ploy).

I went to the American Fork Library where the tryouts were being held. I had looked and looked for music to audition with, but couldn't find any good Broadway stuff I wanted to use. I didn't want to try out with G&D music. When I spoke to a sister in my stake, she said she was involved with the production, but she had heard people try out with I am a child of God, so I figured what the heck... I tried out with I Know that My Redeemer Lives only I sang in French. Woo hoo! I was trying to do something that they might remember me by at least if nothing else. I don't know how many people they are casting, and I doubt I would get a lead or anything, but it's be cool to be a part of!

Anyway, I just had to share that little tidbit of news at my end of the world. I'll let you know as soon as I find out whether or not I get a part. If I do, they are putting it on in July (toward the end).

Until next time...

I feel so cool...but can't say why...

Yes, it's true, I have an opportunity of a lifetime, but I cannot share with everyone and their dog. It's a total bummer, but I am still very excited about it.

It's a good thing, it's an interesting thing, but I cannot talk about it. Maybe later on, I can share some, but not much. It will be a very educational and rewarding experience.

I'm excited and I just wanted you to know I am excited, even if I cannot tell you why.

Until later....

Happy Mother's Day!

I just wanted to wish all of those "mothers" out there a marvelous day.

My own mom, who has been wonderful, a treasure and an angel to me.

My grandmothers, Donna, Juanita, being supportive and an inspiration to me throughout my life.

My "other mothers" who care for me and claim me as their own. I know we all have them, and we appreciate them as much as our own mothers.

My step-mother, Carolyn, who it has taken me time to come to appreciate, but whom I love nevertheless.

My mother-in-law, while far away, I know that she loves me, if for no other reason than I love and care for her son.

My sister-in-laws, without whom I would not have beautiful children to call me Aunt B-Jo.

My friends, whose love also allow for them to refer to me as their aunt, and love me dearly.

Those relatives and friends who have passed from this life, but care for me still from beyond the veil, who care as only a mother or a grandmother can.

While I know in some way I did not necessarily include everyone, but you know who you are and that I love you so dearly, and they were not listed in any particular order, with exception of my very own mother.

I love you all and I hope you all have a wonderful day and a wonderful year to come.

Trying to a "mother" in my own special way and for the first time really appreciating that role, With love and sincerity, B-Jo

A Dose of Forgiveness

Well, that's the best title I could come up with anyway... Let me explain.

I stopped by the house of someone with whom I used to be friends. This same person hurt my feelings and I have held a grudge for a very long time. But I have had these feelings that I just needed to stop and speak with her, get over the past and move on. I've had these feelings for a very long time, but have never acted on them until today (which shows how absolutely stubborn we can be as people). It was a good visit, I tried to broach the feelings by asking if I had done anything to offend her, but she said no, and that with age, you tend to get over things as you cannot keep up with all the feelings.

The thing that I noticed, was that while I felt the need to ask, I did not harbor the bad feelings that I had held previously. Instead, I felt sorrow over lost time and her aging. I felt not quite pity, but I cannot think of a better word, for the potential bad feelings held likely on the part of both of us. But I don't have the anger, or the hurt that I once had. I feel bad it has taken so long for me to get over these feelings and for me to feel the forgiveness toward this person, but I am glad that it has finally happened. I feel glad that it is in the past. I feel glad that it is over and we can all move on.

It does give me hope for the future, as some may know, I have been very hurt by extended family members, and I need to seek forgiveness as well as offer it. And I feel in some ways it needs to happen now, but in others I know now is not the time. It will take time to heal everyone's feelings. But I know that it will likely be possible. At least on my part, and while it may not happen like I think or hope it might and the outcome may not be what I expect, it will happen. I just have to be patient and give it time.

So for today I hope we can all have a dose of forgiveness, whether we are the recipient or the giver... We can all use an extra dose...

Until next time...

Head aches, Sneezes, and Blah!

It's currently raining outside. And I actually enjoy the sound of it on the roof of the carport. But I am getting closer to closing the window (it's a little chilly).

While the rain will help alleviate some of the pollens that have been wreaking havoc with my sinuses--including the lover-ly grass pollen and dust stirred up yesterday when they mowed and trimmed the property here, it also stirs up the mold that also tortures those nasal sensors.

So, I am stuffy from allergies and hay fever, including a sinus-migraine, and I will only get worse. Most people clear up from the rain, it helps and hurts me.

So my head throbs, my nose and toes are cold, and when I am lucky, I sneeze and jar the throbbing to a different beat. Plus there is the fact that I'm still stuffy and not getting as much oxygen as I would like.

Oh well, at least we are getting moisture that is so desperately needed. For that I am grateful, as well as not having to run the house fan or the central air. And I won't turn the heat up, I'll just layer on more clothes--which is soon to include switching from my Crocs to socks and slippers.

Anywho, I just wanted to post. I'm going to do some laundry, do some scrappin', I am not sure what else. Hopefully, I will clear up some and be able to sing tonight. There is a practice for a women's choir that will be singing during Stake Conference this weekend. There's a practice Saturday morning too, I will have to get up for that one--not really looking forward to that one... I hate mornings.

Until next time...