Okay, no more crying...

I really didn't mean to make you cry, so sorry... On to happier things...

Anyone...? Anyone...?

Well, if you come up with something, let me know...

In Rememberance...A Fallen Soldier

Earlier today Mom and I went to the funeral for Sgt. Nathan Barnes. He was from here in American Fork, and well, let's just say it was worthwhile for me to go.

As I sat and listened to the speakers, it came out that we all needed to be headed in the right direction. This young man was honorable and good. He held himself to high standards of honesty, integrity, and other Christlike attributes. These facts came out through stories told by a fellow soldier, his sister, his brothers, his bishop, as well as the Spirit that dwelt there at the service.

Mom said after, that perhaps he was called home because Heavenly Father didn't want his to suffer any more of the grievances he was witness to there in Iraq. I mentioned that perhaps his great spirit would better serve on the other side of the veil. It was mentioned time and again his love for the Iraqi people, especially the children, perhaps because of that love he can teach them the Gospel on the other side.

It was somewhat difficult to get through the service without shedding a tear, especially for a big bawl-baby like myself. But the closing hymn was America the Beautiful and well, they asked us to stand. The only other time I have stood to sing that anthem was the Sunday immediately following September 11th. I couldn't get through it then, and I couldn't get through it today. But today some of the words struck different meaning to me, and meant more.

America the Beautiful

Oh, beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountains majesties Above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea.

Oh, beautiful for pilgrim feet, Whose stern, impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat Across the wilderness!
America! America! God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self control, Thy liberty in law.

Oh, beautiful for heroes proved In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved And mercy more than life!
America! America! May God thy gold refine,
Till all success be nobleness, And ev'ry gain divine.

Oh, beautiful for patriot dream That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam, Undimmed by human tears!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea.

How can you not love that song? But really, couldn't get through the third verse... Throughout the service I thought of Dale and of Ro. Both of them, as well as countless other men and women serving their country to protect the freedoms we enjoy in this country and hope to spread to other populations worldwide. I guess that is what helps keep me going when I become discouraged about this war. We went in (albeit a guise--but that is another blog for another day) and tried to make things better of a mess, in ways we made a much larger mess, but at least we are still there trying to clean it up. I have to keep telling myself that. I believe it is very honorable for these men and women to serve their country. My own dear James feels bereft because his health prevented him from doing the same. So see, even I could potentially have been a military wife (frightening concept, I know).

I guess I just wanted to share my own feelings of wanting to do better, to be more appreciative, etc. I have always been a patriot, I was raised by a very good mommy to be one (don't cry mommy). I just want everyone to feel like I do about our country and those who serve.

I'll include the verse from Alma from the program as well as the poem they included.

Nevertheless, we may console ourselves in this point, that they have died in the cause of their country and of their God, yea, and they are happy. Alma 56:11

Thou Dost Not Weep Alone

Thou dost not weep alone;
The broad bereavement
seems to fall Unheeded and
Unfelt by none; He was beloved,
beloved by all

But lo! what joy salutes our grief!
Bright rainbows crown the tearful gloom;
Hope, hope eternal, brings relief;
Faith sounds a triumph o're the tomb.

It soothes our sorrow, says to thee,
The Lord in chastening comes to bless;
God is thy God, and he will be a father to
the fatherless.

'Tis well with the departed one;
His heaven-lit lamp was shining bright,
And when his mortal day went down,
His spirit fled where reigns no night.

'Tis meet to die as he has died,
He smiled amid death's conquered gloom.
While angels waited by his side,
To bear a kindred spirit home.

Vain are the trophies wealth can give!
His memory needs no sculptor's art;
He's left a name--his virtues live,
'Grave on the tablets of the heart.

Until next time...

Something I Don't Recommend

Yeah, I can actually not recommend doing something... (Susie, your situation is a little different than this, although you may end up agreeing with some of this...)

DO NOT DRIVE HALF WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY IN 23 1/2 HOURS, stay a few days and then DRIVE BACK IN A SIMILAR AMOUNT OF TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, now that that is out of my system, let me explain.

Last Monday, (July 16) my husband's mother called (at 5 AM) to tell us James' Dad had a heart attack. Well, on Wednesday, the 18th, at 5-ish PM we headed out for their house, located between the towns of Searcy and Floyd, Arkansas. We drove straight through. Can I say there is something to be said for driving across Colorado and much of Kansas in the dark? James started the driving process from AF clear to the other side of Denver. I drove from that point to Salina, Kansas. James then drove the rest of the way. We got to his aunt and uncle's house I guess around 5-ish (Central Time) Thursday. We had dinner and basically went to bed (I was trying to finish my book, but my eyes wouldn't stay open and I kept dropping the book--go figure).

Friday, we went into Searcy where his Dad was at the hospital. (Now I have to add a tidbit here about what James said about his mom--"she looks so old!" Of course technically they are his grandparents, so they are old, but I digress). His Dad was in pretty good spirits, but they weren't letting him out. We didn't stay for too long, which bummed James out. We went to Wal-Mart and then back "home." We actually had his other uncle (who had come from Kansas City) drop us back at the other aunt and uncle's house so James could do his nebulizer before we went up to his mom's to help out up there. Well, when we got to Sue and Ricky's (the aunt and uncle's) their power had been shut off. So we got his neb (in the dark) and went to his mom's.

I helped Roy's wife Cherrie clean in the house while James and Roy did stuff in the yard. Cherrie and Roy (James' uncle) were staying at his parent's cause they had brought their dog, and their dog wouldn't have gotten along with Ricky and Sue's dogs (dachshunds--I'll get to them I promise). Well, Cherrie had told us at Wal-Mart she was buying things to clean with because the house was in sad shape and she didn't want Dad coming home to it. When I saw the house, I understood why. We did the best we could with what we had (time, energy, and cleaning supplies). The house is real bad because of the cigarette smoke. I don't know what kind of cigarettes his parents smoke, but they turn EVERYTHING YELLOW and it's sticky and disgusting. James and his uncle were in the yard while his uncle was shooting the .22 rifle he had brought and their mom's .25 handgun. James isn't allowed to shoot, so he didn't.

Dinner that night was BLT sandwiches (we'd had lunch at McD's) and we played dice. After we went back to Sue and Ricky's and watched some TV, played some pool and went to bed.

Saturday, we got up for breakfast (after being harassed) and then James and I went in to town to buy some work gloves. We stopped to see his dad at the hospital too. Then we headed back to his mom's so they could work on clearing out behind the lean-to. I got to separate out some dishes from the China hutch we could bring back--we also brought back the china hutch--good thing we had mom's car. I went out to see how they were doing and Roy hands me the .25 and tells me to shoot a hole just below where he shot in a rusted out 55 gallon drum. I holler to James "do you see what he just gave me?" At which point James says, "he's either brave or stupid." But I went and lined myself up and shot. I didn't hit below his hole, I hit just above and slightly right of where Roy had shot. He teased me saying I didn't say go through my hole I said hit below it. I figure he was lucky I didn't almost kill someone, like the last time I handled a gun.

After we got done doing stuff, James had to clean up (oh another aside here, just before we had gotten back from town, they had seen a copperhead snake and Roy tried to shoot it, he missed three times--it crawled under the lean-to--James was a little freaked out about that--he HATES snakes). We went back to Ricky and Sue's, James showered and we went back into town to see his dad again. We got something quick to eat at the hospital and sat for a long time with his dad. We'd been hoping they were going to let him come home that day but they didn't. Roy, Cherrie and his mom came too. We had a good visit. They left and we stayed a little while longer. We left and went back to his mom's. We visited for a while there and then went to Ricky and Sue's for dinner. Ricky made catfish, I was a little worried because the last time I had catfish it was disgusting. But this was GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!! Sue had made hushpuppies too--have I ever mentioned I LOVE HUSHPUPPIES!?! She also made fried green tomatoes--they were tasty too. It was a good dinner despite the fact I could feel my arteries hardening.

We played pool, I tried to download email, and later we sat in the hot tub. Sunday morning, they were dragging us up for breakfast again (we decided they eat entirely TOO MUCH breakfast around there). I will admit though it is nice not having to fix it yourself--or clean-up for that matter.

Anyway, Sunday morning, his Dad got to come home which made James feel a lot better. We left around noon--James cried, I hate to see him cry and you know me--big bawl-baby, I cried cause he was crying. He said his Dad started it though. Told him he had always loved him and he was a wonderful SON. I just wish Cheryl hadn't been so self-centered that she didn't let her folks actually adopt James, she really did a disservice there. Anyway, we left, and took a different route home, stopped to see James' Grandma in Adrian, Missouri (south of Kansas City). Then we drove to Salina and got a room there to sleep (I couldn't keep my eyes open). We got up a little late and headed for Denver, holy cow it took forever....

We were going to meet James' friend Justin for dinner, but we stopped at Bass Pro Shop first. Let me tell you, when we walked in, WAAAAAYYY more impressive than that other outdoor outfitter whose name I'd rather not mention!! We walked around there, got a few things for RJ for his birthday, James got a hat. Then we made our way to the south side of the Denver Metro area through rush hour traffic--it wasn't real pleasant. But we got to Justin's house--talk about a nice house--they have like 4 bathrooms (well there's a half bath on the main floor, a bathroom upstairs a bathroom with a shower and a tub in the main suite and working from a half to a full bath in the basement--Justin is still working on it). A nice huge kitchen, a family room, a living room, there's an overlook from the upstairs to the family room where there's a pool table, there are two spare bedrooms and a partially finished basement. There's even a walk-in closet for the main suite, it's off the other side of the master bathroom. Plus they have a three car garage. Nice, nice house--but like Justin says, why do two people need 3,000 square feet (not counting the basement)? I know Justin has some hobbies, he has mountain bikes and he's restoring his late brother's car. But I saw no evidence of anything Randee (his wife) might do as hobbies. It was a little depressing.

Anyway, we went to dinner with Justin to the Texas Roadhouse. It was good and Justin had a good time flirting with the waitress. We stopped back at Justin's and visited some more, even with Randee (she got home from work late, so we had gone to dinner without her). Then we left and headed for home. I just need to mention here, maybe the scenery is okay in Colorado along I-70, but since we were driving in the dark, it didn't make a huge difference, so I said there is something to be said for driving across the bottom of Wyoming along I-80. It isn't nearly as treacherous as driving I-70--I'd much rather drive 80. Anyway, I drove to Grand Junction and then James drove the rest of the way home. We got home around 6 AM and we slept about 5 hours until mom called to see if we were home. James went to to work at Hart's for 4 hours and I went to teach my cake classes.

My whole point--it's now Friday, we got home early Tuesday morning, I do not recommend trips like this, cause I feel like I am still trying to get over it, UGH!!!

I'm glad we were able to see James' dad and that he could come home from the hospital before we actually left. It was good to see his mom and Ricky, Roy, Sue and Cherrie, too. It was also great seeing Grandma Riley and Justin!

Oh, I have to tell you about Sue and Ricky's dogs, Mickey and Minnie. They're dachshunds, right, well, they rule the roost! Minnie likes to dress up, we have pictures of her in her dress, when I download them, I'll post them. I have pictures of Mickey in a shirt too. They are hilarious, but they are house dogs, and house dogs are not like house cats, if you know what I mean. I told J he couldn't say anything about my housekeeping abilities anymore!

Anyway, there's my non-recommendation--don't travel such long distances in such short amounts of time!

Until next time...

Has it really been almost a month!?!

WHOA!!!

When I started this blog I was going to keep up with it better, I really was. Even if whatever I wrote was boring as all get-out. So I guess I have to rededicate myself to this and try to make a better effort.

So what did I do today? Well, at 5-something this morning, I awoke to the ringing of the telephone. Never a good thing at odd hours like that, it was James' mom. She was calling because his dad had a heart attack earlier and was at the hospital. It was nice to be in the loop on the information, but he was doing okay--they had him stabilized at the White County Hospital in Searcy, Arkansas and were not going to be moving him to the VA Hospital in Little Rock. Okay, swell, but couldn't she have waited until a more reasonable hour to call. (When James came home from work he did say she had called everyone and he would rather have known then and was glad she had called). So then James was all worried and stressed and when that happens he tenses up and then he coughs. So he still had some time to sleep before he had to get up for work and now he's coughing and hacking and cannot get comfortable and I am rubbing his chest, trying to get him to relax and he rolls part-way over and says to me "don't be scared." IRONY--I'm worried to death about him worrying about his Dad and he is trying to comfort me. Go figure!

So that was the start of my day, but then I went back to sleep and got up later. I've got to find a job!

Anyway, when I did get up, I talked to mom and looked at email. I called Chad about fixing Mom's TV and her VCR/DVD player. I went to the bank and the library then to Mommy's. We took her stuff to Chddius' house for him to look at and then we went to Costco. YAY, Oxy-Clean!!! After we got done there we headed back to Mom's house and I came home. Returned some phone calls, made Jambalaya for dinner and I was going to download pictures from the digital camera and post the most recent cake pictures on the other blog, but the batteries didn't have enough juice, so I have to wait for them to charge.

Given this opportunity, I decided to get an entry in here, then I may take my new Stampin' Up! catalog that my friend Sarah brought me and curl up to look at it. Course I have a book I'm reading and a magazine to look at. I could scrapbook, in fact I have several projects I was working on that I could look at working on some more, who knows... Well, after the batteries are recharged I am hoping to post those other cakes. So keep a look out for those. I also need to try and work out mom's and my logo... We NEED business cards.

So until the batteries are recharged or next time...

Interesting Tidbits...

I have several topics and tidbits I wanted to talk about, so I'll bullet each one, there may not be rhyme or reason to how I get these out here, but they've been floating around in my head...

• The other day at mom's house, Ben's girlfriend, Tish, decided to show me her tattoo, and tell me that "Yeah, it hurts, but the spider bites hurt worse." Yes, she was sporting a new tattoo, a Raven, with a ribbon underneath that says "Lenore." Also on her lower back, where the tattoo is, (really too high for a tramp stamp, but I'm sure that's what it meant to be) were these little red spots and bumps. Whether or not they were spider bites, who knows. She did however tell me not to say anything to Sue (my mom) about the tattoo, because, in her words, "She did not feel like being bitched at." Little does she know, Mom is all knowing. Mom may not know exactly what is on her back, or for that matter how much it cost her (Two and a Quarter--and if you have to really ask how much that is, well, you're more naive than you should be...), but mom knows, she ALWAYS knows. (PS, I did not tell mom, I can't help it if she does read my blog though...).
• James and I had a nice dinner on our anniversary. It wasn't anything terribly special, but it was just the two of us, and he made me laugh at stuff he said or did. Then we went to Michael's Arts and Crafts where I picked out my present (J decided it's just easier to get things for me that way, at least then I get exactly what I want... Not that he doesn't want to get me something, and not that I don't appreciate his effort and thought, it's just I end up taking back whatever he got me it seems. I did that to him on my birthday this year too. I know I suck!). Then we went to see baby Dean Anthony Campbell. I had seen him the day or two before but James hadn't so we stopped by Alicia and Michael's to see baby Dean. Baby Dean looks like his Uncle Butch with a receding hairline. And well, he's got a great set of lungs for only being a month old!
• Okay, tell me, why a Gay Phone Book? I mean this is Utah... For heavens sake! I might understand if it were San Francisco... But I don't think they even have an exclusively gay phone book out there, it's just the phone book. Plus, out there, if you cannot tell who is or isn't, well, it's okay, maybe, you're probably not paying attention, or your gay-dar is off. But here, I suppose it is more difficult to tell, because there are some people who chose to hide it or try to hide from it, I am not sure which. But I know it is totally possible to get along--I mean I know some very nice people who would be considered gay or consider themselves gay, but that doesn't mean they need to have their very own phone book. I guess I just figure if the phone book is good enough for me it is good enough for them. To me it is their own way of perpetuating segregation and bigotry by pointing out the obvious... Maybe it's just me.
• Oh hey, they British opera singer, on the Britain's Got Talent--what a voice! I can tell you though, here in the USofA, no way would an opera singer win on America's Got Talent... For some reason, we just don't have any taste.
• Which brings up the whole OJ Simpson thing--him complaining about how much media attention Paris Hilton is getting for her current jail time stint. Um, as J would say, hello pot, my name is kettle... Or something like that.
• I'm still looking for work, I was telling Dad on the phone yesterday (Father's Day), that once you cut out the stuff you really don't want to do, it doesn't leave much else to do do or apply for. Oh well... I'll get a job hopefully soon.
• I've got to get ready for bed, I am trying to reset my internal clock, and Jay Leno is just starting, I should get my jammies on so I can try going to sleep after headlines is over.

Until next time... (and please comment on my various ramblings...I'm interested in what you think too...)

Update on James (and a small vent)

The following is a copy of an email I sent out, but I thought I'd post here as well.

I wanted to take the opportunity to let you know that James is home from the hospital. He got out on Monday, and while his PFTs aren't up as great as they've been in the past, they are up from when I took him to the ER two weeks prior. His PFTs are in the upper 60s. He still is having some tenderness on the left side of his body, which is where it really hurt when he went in. I am not sure if all of you knew that part of his upper right lung was partially collapsed due to the infection according to the doctor. But that didn't hurt him, like he had always thought a collapsed lung would hurt. But he is feeling better and he is taking some opportunity to rest up some before going back to both jobs.

Speaking of his jobs, he was thrown quite a curve-ball when he went back to work Tuesday. He went in, and the one owner, Micky, called him to her office. She told him he had a bunch of mistakes (things he actually had nothing to do with because she was putting some of what happened while he was gone on him), all kinds of issues, she said the parts room was disgusting (okay first it's a parts room in-between two shops where they work mechanically on industrial equipment), she has all sorts of unrealistic goals, but basically this is what else she told him. They hired someone else to replace him while he was gone. Now you need to understand, the day after he was admitted to the hospital and I had called his employers to tell them where he was, they placed an ad in the newspaper for his position. Mom saw the ad and called me. Not totally knowing what to do, we went to Ace Rents to ask them about it. I thought it would be better to go in person than to just phone them. So we went, and the owner, Sid, and his daughter, Shauntae, both said, James' job was not in jeopardy and he would be able to come back and work there as long as he could. So it boils down to them lying to my mother and myself when they said he had a job to come back to and that his position was not in jeopardy. Now back to the day he returned, Micky, told him all of this, and said he could continue to work there part time, but he would not have insurance. She said he could take the rest of the day off, come home and talk with me to decide what to do.

On his way home, dreading having to come home to tell me, he saw a tire place in Pleasant Grove that was hiring. He knows two of the guys there, so he stopped in and asked what positions they were hiring for. They told him, and he filled out an application, he spoke with the manager, Jack, and they hired him on the spot, YAY. So then he came home to break all of this to me.

Yes, I was ticked, to say the least about Ace Rents, how they treated him, how they lied to me and mom, etc. But I was more than grateful for the fact that he was hired at Fackler Tire in Pleasant Grove. Mom was beyond ticked off when we went to her house and told her, but James made her stay in the car and behave when we had to stop back by Ace so he could pick up his cot, sleeping bag, and pillow (he used to nap during his lunch hour) and drop off some papers he had for them and let them know he wasn't going to be staying. Mom and I both stayed in the car and behaved, doesn't mean we might be mean some other time though... (Insert evil laugh/grin here).

So, all things considered, it's been quite a roller coaster ride around here... Add to that the rotten cretin that calls himself a "doctor" of psychology who is hell bent on making J's life miserable until he can get all of this counseling nightmare behind us, and this week has been just plain crummy!!!

I'm still not working, but I am looking, and looking a little bit harder.

Thanks to all of you who kept us in your prayers. I know it is because of your prayers and care and concern that James was helped to heal. I know it is because of much of your faith that we are blessed, and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you.

Love, B-Jo

Thanks for taking the time to listen to me vent some too. It's nice to have a place to do that. I am beyond frustrated with the psych-o-logist, as I feel like he makes our life utterly miserable and I think it's his greed and his own disgusting lusts that allow him to get off on what his "clients" tell him about their issues. Stupid jerk anyway...

Sorry for the ickiness I am spewing, but I have to get this out.

Until later...

James is Home

I wanted to log in here and let everyone know...

James is home from the hospital!!!!!

His PFTs aren't up as high as they really should be, and they did an x-ray today to make sure the pneumonia was gone from his lungs. They said he should be okay. In some ways I am a little wary, but I'll keep an eye on him to make sure he stays healthy.

Hopefully, he'll be well for a while. He has a clinic appointment scheduled for July 16. It's the follow-up for this stay in the hospital. He got the first shot in the series for the Hep-A & B immunizations. He'll get the second booster shot at his clinic visit (it's just Hep-B) and then five months after that he will get the third shot (which has both A & B in it). Evidently, Hep-B is three shots but Hep-A is only two. I got Hep-B shots in Casper while I was working for the school district.

In other news, we stopped to see Daryl on our way home from the hospital. He just got out from a chemo treatment and was getting ready to nap some when we stopped. Of course, if we had actually left the hospital at the time James had requested, we would've left at 10 AM, instead of leaving at 2:30 PM!! Argh, leaving the hospital is so difficult sometimes!!!

Anyway, I did three cakes over the weekend. Busy, busy! I hope to get them posted on the Sweet Sue/Honey B Blog soon. They turned out fairly well.

I guess I should go eat some dinner, since I made it. Jambalaya, it's what James wanted. I told him I would make it when he got home. So I did. Hopefully, it turned out as well as it did the first time I made it.

I will post again soon, until then...