My sweet Jamus' Passing

James Steven Dumler

December 5, 1974 – May 25, 2012

After a valiant, lifelong fight with Cystic Fibrosis, James Steven Dumler was
taken home to live with his Savior and those who have passed before him.

James was born December 5, 1974 in Laramie, Wyoming to Cheryl
(Hawley) and Cecil Dumler. Due to health reasons, which were diagnosed
in late infancy as CF, he was cared for and reared by his maternal
grandparents. This led to him calling his Grandma and Grandpa While,
Mom and Dad. When the severity of his CF was completely diagnosed,
it was determined the family should move to a better climate, Arizona, in
hopes of prolonging his health.

He spent his elementary years and some of his junior high years in the
Mesa/Phoenix/Tempe, Arizona areas. It was here where he and his dad
forged their lifelong love of the Chicago Cubs (Cubs hold spring training
there).

In his junior high years they returned to Laramie, Wyoming; as James’
health had not progressed as his parents had hoped and better
employment, with better health benefits, still waited there for his dad. It
was during, this time period, eighth grade, that James would meet his
eternal sweetheart, B-Jo (Bonita Jo) Laing.

James graduated from Laramie High School in 1993. He participated
on the boys swim team, swimming the 500 meter. Swimming helped his
health and strengthened his lungs, which may have help to prolong his life;
the life that his doctors said would end before graduating from high school.
James was an excellent and competitive swimmer, winning at meets
and eventually lettering in the sport. After high school, he attended one
semester at Laramie County Community College in Cheyenne, Wyoming,
however due to health concerns, he was unable to return and complete his
higher education, at that time.

In 1996, James and B-Jo were married, June 15th, and they moved to
American Fork, Utah in August. They were later sealed for time and all
eternity in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple on March 17, 2001. James held a
number of different jobs throughout his life, but the majority of his working
years were spent in retail sales of automotive parts. He also served for
a few years as an assistant swim coach for American Fork and Lone
Peak High Schools teams. His girls’ team from LPHS took the State
Championship their first two years.

In 2008, James decided he wanted to continue his higher education. He
sought a program where he could pursue a degree in Military History, with
emphasis on history of the U.S. Navy. James’ family had a long history of
being Navy men and not having been able to join the Navy had been very
disappointing to him and he believed this was a way for him to fulfill his
dream. James was working toward a Bachelor’s degree, but as his health
began to decline, and he opted to apply for an Associate’s Degree. He
received his degree from American Military University in November 2011.
B-Jo and James were never able to have children, so they adopted a sweet
puppy in 2008; a black Lab/Australian Blue Heeler mix. They named him
Foster. He has been James’ pride and joy. They shared a precious bond
and still very much do.

James was preceded in death by parents (grand,) Robert and Patricia
While; grandfather, Elmer Dumler; great-grandfather, Donald Riley; his
beloved Grandma Mimi; and grandpa-in-law, Robert Laycock.

James is survived by his wife of almost 16 years (they’ve known each other
24 years), B-Jo and his buddy, Foster. He is also survived by his biological
mother, Cheryl (Dale) Bourquin, of Rupert, Idaho; estranged father, Cecil
Dumler, of Laramie, Wyoming; brother, Billy (Sirrena) Emler, of Rupert, ID;
sister, Tabitha Emler, of Laramie, WY; brother, JD(Brandi) Emler, of Boise
ID; aunt, Gail (Harlan) Rigsby, of Searcy, Arkansas; aunt, Sue(Ricky) Tate,
of Searcy, AR; uncle, Roy (Cheri) While, of Gardner, Kansas; uncle, Terry
While, of Phoenix, Arizona; and uncle, Jeff While, of St. Louis, Missouri.

Additionally he is survived by nephews, Ty Rubeling; Austin, Tristan,
James, and Christian Emler; Travis Beecher; Shaun Duden; nieces,
Makayla and Neveah Emler; Aryanna Duden; and great-niece, Chastity
Rubeling.; grandmother, Bonnie Dumler, of Laramie, WY; grandmother,
Maxine Riley-Morey, of Adrian, Missouri; as well as other extended family.

He will be especially missed by surviving members of his wife’s family
including: Susan and Jim Hunter (mother, step-father), of LaGrange,
WY; Carolyn and Wayne Laing (step-mother and father), of Casper, WY;
Robert (brother) and Teresa Laing, of Pinedale, WY; Josh (brother) and
Lindsey Hunter, of Boise, ID; Dale (brother) and Cindy Hunter, currently
stationed in South Korea; Ben (brother) and Camie Hunter, of Taylorsville,
UT; Roland (brother) and Susie Jones, currently stationed in Tucson, AZ;
and Daryl (brother) and Rachel Peay, of Pocatello, ID. This also includes:
nephews: Jordan, RJ, Zach, J2, Shinook, Aaron, Ray and Tommy; nieces,
Alanna, Laura, Mary Bonita, Eliza, Annie, Donna, Lydia, and Mackenzie;
grandmothers, Donna Laycock, of LaGrange, WY and Juanita Laing, of
Casper, WY; and ‘nephew dog’, Kini, currently living with B-Jo. He is also
survived by numerous other extended family members and loving friends
who are closer than family. All will miss him dearly.

His last labored breaths were on Friday, May 25, 2012 at 10:30 am at
University of Utah Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah, where James
had many loving and compassionate caregivers. B-Jo held his hand as he
crossed the veil. Cremation has been done by Aspen Funeral Services in
Sandy, Utah.

Services for James will be held on Saturday, June 16, 2012 at 1:00 PM. This
Celebration of Life for James will take place at the LDS Chapel located at
507 W 700 N American Fork, UT 84003. There will be a luncheon to follow
the services.

Condolences can be made to B-Jo, Foster, and the family through the
website here or by mailing to 580 N 420 W American Fork, UT 84003-1124.

Life in Perspective

In 1988-89 I was a seventh grader in Laramie, Wyoming.  Now there were other kids who were also twelve and thirteen years old and seventh graders as well, but somehow, in certain instances I felt like I was the only one in my situation.

I had moved from Casper to Laramie and started junior high with a new step-dad all in one fell swoop it seemed.  Being a preteen/teenager, I was also going through changes of other kinds and sometimes that made life very difficult.  Again, I often felt like I was the only one...  Then see me get a lead in a chorus class play and another girl be upset about that.  See me, the new girl trying to make friends, and the jealous girl start calling me names...  Back then, it was hell, but I can look back and see that even though it hurt, maybe she hurt more and that is why she did it?

Now fast forward through the years and there have been a number of instances where I have felt like no one could possibly know how I feel or what I am going through...  I again feel all alone in my experiences and try to hide my true feelings behind the "I'm fine/good/okay/Life is good" so no one really knows the truth.

That brings me to the last little while, two years ago I was going through cancer treatments, chemo every three weeks, losing my hair in the cold of winter, and wondering what to do about a reconstructive breast surgery.  Then the last several months of having my J in the hospital more than he has been home, watching him lose oxygen and not be able to breathe and being awakened by early morning phone calls telling me he is not doing well and can I get to the hospital right away?  Wondering is he is going to live, albeit a poor quality of life, or if he is going to suffer until he finally passes.  To yesterday when I find that someone I've known from ages ago was in so much pain that she chose to leave this life.  My heart hurts for the family, specifically the daughters she left behind.  I am reminded by the outpouring of love on her facebook page that life is precious and no matter how much you hurt there is likely someone who loves you.

So here I sit and think about the girl who helped alienate me in seventh grade by calling me names.  But now I realize that that may have been a defense mechanism back then to cover her own hurt.  I think about how I am glad we reconnected on fb and tried to heal old hurts and realize we had more similarities than than differences.  I think about how my own depression has plagued me and realize I am on the right track to make sure I do not make similar choices.

I am heartbroken, for her, for her daughters, for her family, for me.  I want to try to be safe, to be whole, to heal.  I hope that I can feel the comfort and peace that perhaps she was missing.  I am often frightened of what point one must reach to finally choose suicide to living in pain.  I have told a few people about the pictures or movies I see in my head.  It's the only way I can explain it.  But I see myself harming myself in these 'movies' and it truly scares me.  I often believe it is Satan, pushing my buttons, hitting all my weak spots...

Yesterday's revelation about my friend, not just finding out about her death, but seeing the outpouring of love made me reaffirm that I want to be healthy, I want to not hurt myself, but I especially do not want to hurt others.

Please, if you read this, and you can see some of yourself in this message, talk to someone, anyone, find help, talk to a doctor, talk to a friend, talk to a church member, talk to someone...  Know that you are not alone, no matter how hard everything seems, no matter how dismal the outlook is and how ending it seems preferable, think about whom you might be leaving behind and how much it might hurt them.  Then perhaps your hurt might not seem so bad.

Learning about Palliative and Hospice Care

On Monday, James and I met with a couple of ladies with Palliative Care.  Holli is a nurse practitioner and Paula is a social worker.  They helped me to understand what we will likely be facing in the next little while.  They explained that palliative care focuses on quality of life.  There is still the option of seeing the doctor or going to the hospital if needed.  James has complete control over the decision of when to enter hospice care.

Hospice care will essentially help to care for him for the last six months of his life (roughly).  They use a scale of 0-10 to help determine how his quality of life is, with 0 being the best and 10 being the worst ever.  Last week he told Holli that he was probably at a 7, on Monday he said he was maybe at 6.  But Holli and Paula helped me to understand that it is not a matter of whether he is fighting to live or whether he is giving up, palliative care helps to focus on goals.  He is simply working toward a different set of goals right now.

One of his goals is to be able to spend Christmas with Bob and Teresa's family in Pinedale.  He really wants to have a fun Christmas with the kids.  Another of his goals is rebaptism.  We do not have a definitive timeline on that right now, but it is something he is working toward.

I did ask him to try and not die on my birthday...  I like my birthday, I don't want a reason to not like it, it helps me get through the winter, having something like that happen would make me sad and not like it.  I did realize though that if it happened, I could live with it.  I might not like it, but I would live.

At any rate, his prognosis currently is as such: they had started a different antibiotic for him, it is a lot slower acting than many of the other options, but he is allergic to all of those other options.  It does seem to be making some improvement, but it is slow.  He has had some trouble with his gastrointestinal system.  Seems to have stuff not moving well through his system.  His stomach feels overly full and that increases his trouble with breathing.  He has been taking miralax and they tried to get him to drink golytely, but he just could not choke that stuff down.  He has had some relief but not enough to really feel better from that.

With any luck, he may get to come home on Thursday (tomorrow) but we are kind of playing it by ear.  They want to be sure they have machines for him to use here at home, as well as all of the proper medication.  They will keep him at the hospital until they can make sure he will have everything he needs here at home.  He gets lonely, and he misses me and Foster, we'd go up more frequently if gas prices weren't so high and we could afford it.

Holli and Paula are going to meet with us again tomorrow at one'o'clock to talk some more.  I do not feel like I am in despair.  I do worry for James, I do not want him to have to suffer, I feel like he has suffered enough and I just want him to be as comfortable as possible and not have to linger for longer than necessary.

I have always known his wishes, he does not wish to be intubated (have a tube put down his throat to help him breathe).  He does not wish to be resuscitated if he were to die or quit breathing.  He has never wanted to be placed on a list for possible lung transplant, and at this point if he were to change his mind, it would likely be too late.  I have had 15 years of marriage and 22 years of knowing him to come to terms with these things, and that is fine.  It has taken years of going through almost a grief process to come to terms with some of these things, and that is okay.  I am at peace with whatever may happen.

We haven't always had an easy go of things, but I have enjoyed the time I have had with my Jamus.  I have my moments sometimes I am fine, other moments I fall apart, but that is okay too.  Paula explained I was likely going through some pre-grief, I was like no kidding...  I do feel like I am grieving his death before he has died, but I am preparing myself.  Some people don't have the opportunity to prepare for such things.  I consider myself blesses to have the opportunity to not be shocked or traumatized by a sudden death.  My beliefs help me to know that I will see my J again, and that helps to ease the pain.

Holli explained too that CF patients are lucky in a way to be able to partially orchestrate the last time of their lives.  They have some control, some options, they can make choices so that they and those they love can be saved from some end of life things that other people cannot do.  I hope I do not sound morbid, I am not meaning to, I just know that this has always been at the center of our marriage.  James' ultimate demise has been the center of his life, his whole life.  Sometimes it is hard to live when you are continually told you are going to die.  I think J did a pretty good job considering.  He has things he wishes he could have done in his life, both in and out of his control, but overall, I believe he has lead a pretty good life.  Sure he has regrets, but honestly who doesn't.

I know I can say for both of us, we are so especially grateful to everyone who has kept us in their thoughts and prayers, who've fasted for us, or placed our name on prayer rolls.  I maintain that were it not for prayers of everyone on my behalf, I would not be upright.  While I know J often still doesn't feel well, he has shown some improvement and we have been educated on what to expect in the coming weeks and months.  In between hospital visits I asked him how long he thought he had, he said maybe a year.  Although it was a sad moment, it helped both of us to mentally prepare for what we are facing.

We would like to ask that if you have it in you to keep praying for us, please do.  If you can keep your thoughts turned to God's will and acceptance of His will, that will help all of us.  I will try to better and keep people updated, but sometimes it feels like it changes minute to minute or that I don't have anything new to report, so forgive me if I don't always give an update.

Thank you all again, B and J

Remembering truths and learning to 'Cowboy Up!'

The following is from my Spotlight post from Lifting Hearts (formerly Sister Survivors).  As I was sitting here tonight, not being able to sleep, I was reading the other spotlight posts and felt like I needed to reread my own interview.  I am glad I did, I needed to be reminded of truths I know, but that I have pushed to far reaches of my mind.  Satan is a wily guy and he tries so hard...  He knows just which of my buttons to push and I have been letting him...  I need to regroup and "cowboy up" (I am a Wyoming girl after all).  This is to a new start, to new reaches and to kicking his butt to kingdom come!!!

March Spotlight - B-Jo Laing-Dumler

Our March spotlight is B-Jo Laing-Dumler. B-Jo has been part of our group since the beginning. She is a talented, happy person, and since she will be helping us out with a few thing over the next 6 months, I thought it would be fun to get to know her a little bit better. Enjoy the interview!

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What were you diagnosed with, and what treatments did you have? Who were your doctors?"

B-JO: "I was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer, I had two types, ductal and invasive. I am also HER2+. I had a mastectomy on Dec 2, 2009, port implant Dec 28, 2009 and first round of chemo Dec 29, 2009. I did four rounds of chemo; Cytoxin and Taxotere, along with Herceptin. I did the Herceptin treatments for a year (actually it went longer than a year, my last one of those was Feb 15, 2011). I had my tissue expander placed in July, (the 22nd, I believe) and the rest of my reconstruction was postponed from October, but is happening March 10th. I also get to have my port removed--wa-hoo!!!!! So, I am almost at the end, I am so excited. I had Dr. Tittensor, whom I believe truly saved my life. If she hadn't been such a caring doctor, willing to treat despite the lack of insurance and willing to remove an infectious growth from my breast, I might not have found out about the cancer until it was too late. She also performed my mastectomy and my port placement. Dr. Wendy Breyer is my oncologist. I did all of my chemo treatments at IV therapy at AF hospital, but I was able to do some of my Herceptin treatments at the cancer clinic next door. Dr. Bishop will be doing my reconstruction, he has taken exceptional care of me.

SISTER SURVIVORS: "How did your cancer diagnosis affect your family and friends?"

B-JO: "It was hardest on my husband, he had lost his parents earlier in the year, his mother (actually grandmother, but his grandparents raised him so he thinks of them as mom and dad) passed in April 2009 and his dad in July 2009. The day I found out (November 17) I called to tell him about my visit and he was kind of being a jerk to me on the phone, so instead of being nice I just told him I had cancer and how did he like that. One of us hung up on the other, but I do not recall which. When I finally convinced him I was not dying he did a little better. I think it was really hard, cause he is the one who is sick and has to go to the hospital, not me, so seeing me this way was really hard for him. Most of my friends and family rallied for me, and in a way, it has made me a stronger person, although, I have noticed when people tell me how much they admire me and my strength, it is usually when I am feeling at my weakest. I have also made so many new friends in the club we did not ask to be a part of, but is exclusive to us. I know that much of my strength comes from those who have prayed on my behalf, if not for that I would not have made it."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What was the hardest thing you had to go through during your cancer journey? What helped get you through it?"

B-JO: "I am currently going through some of my most difficult right now. As hard as it was to be diagnosed, as hard as chemo was, it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought, as hard as other moments have been. Recently I have been dealing with anxiety and depression and a little feeling of worthlessness. I keep telling Satan to get out of my head, but I was diagnosed with depression ten years ago and have been off on medication that time. I am currently on meds, but winter is always harder for me than any other time of year. I think last year I had to focus all my energies on getting through chemo and that helped to distract me. This year, there has been uncertainty, and it has been more difficult, my husband's health is getting worse too, and that plays a roll as well."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "How did your cancer diagnosis change your life?"

B-JO: "My mom had always told my brother and I while we were growing up, that cancer wasn't so much an 'if' but a 'when'. We had too much familial history of different kinds of cancers. And while I may not have an immediate or direct family history of breast cancer it is still a possibility. I can remember being in my early twenties and hearing of a girl my age being diagnosed and worrying that it might happen to me. Actually having cancer and having it caught early on, it made me realize the Lord has his own plans and I am blessed to have my life. There is a plan for me and I have something to accomplish in this life."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What did you learn during your cancer journey?"

B-JO: "I am capable of a lot more than I thought, and while things may seem bad for me, there is a chance that someone is worse off. While I knew this before, it was reiterated time and time again. Also, one very big lesson, I am loved and I am worth something to someone somewhere.

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What have you changed as a result of your cancer diagnosis?"

B-JO: "Not as much as I feel I should, in fact there are some areas where I feel like I have backslid somewhat. There are things I want to change, but I am not sure if it is fear or laziness that is stopping me. I do feel like after my surgery, I am having a new start again, so, I hope to make some big changes, but in little steps.

SISTER SURVIVORS: "Do you have a favorite book, quote, or song that became meaningful to you during your cancer journey?"

B-JO: :I'm not sure if there is one thing. I know that I will sometimes hear a song or see a show, that I had heard or seen before, and it will hit me just a little differently. I am still the same B-Jo, I am learning and growing all the time. Whether it is going forward or back is up to me and I have done both, even after diagnosis. But please remember, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and I can cry at the drop of a hat. I cannot watch animal movies, and almost every time I see the flag or hear the National Anthem, I cry, from pride, from sorrow for those who have given their lives, over babies born, over death. I am a crybaby, but I probably would not have me any other way."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What advice would you give to a woman who is newly diagnosed with breast cancer?"

B-JO: "If you need to cry, do it. If you have questions, research or ask someone, don't blindly follow what they tell you. Trust your instincts, and somebody somewhere is likely worse off than you are. Don't wish this on anyone, but don't feel like you won't make it through yourself. You are strong, there is hope, and God will care for you no matter what."

SISTER SURVIVORS: "What advice would you give to friends and family of a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient?"

B-JO: "If she says she want to eat something crazy, let her. If she's tired, let her rest. If she needs to cry, be her shoulder. If she needs to vent, be her ear. If she cannot stand the smell of something, don't use it around her, or get it out of the house. If she says she cannot, tell her she can!"

SISTER SURVIVORS: "Finish this sentence… “I am a…”

B-JO: "...a child of God, a daughter, an aunt, a woman, a friend, I am sensitive, emotional, caring, eclectic, funny, weird, but I am a survivor and I will go on!"

Memorial Day--More than just dying

So, it is Memorial Day weekend, and while prepared to support those who have lost their live in service to our country, we also remember our ancestors, family, and friends who've passed before us.  I was realizing this is the first Memorial Day that my Grandpa Bob was gone and I was trying to determine a good way to honor his memory.  I remember going with him and Grandma Donna to decorate graves as part of our Memorial Day remembrances.  I also went with Grammy Hellie and Papa Joe.  I did not always know who's all grave we were visiting, but they would tel me and I would listen.

However, I was not prepared for the loss of a beautiful young life.  The Harris family lost their Bradley Michael today.  All I know was that he and his father, Craig, were involved in a motorcycle crash, and Michael, he didn't make it.  I think after we came back, I was able to watch Michael once, maybe...  But I was a nanny to his older siblings, Brian, Brooke, Lynnie, and Brianna.  I love these kids, they aren't so little anymore and now a portion of them has been ripped away from them.  I am trying to be more positive about things, like Michael's mission in this life was over and Heavenly Father has something important for him to do on the other side, but he was 14, turning 15 in June...  He was so young, was there really stuff more important, couldn't he have stayed with us just a bit longer? I have to remember the Lord knows His plan, and we have to abide by His plan, not the other way around.  Someday we may comprehend, but sometimes I struggle to go by faith.

As I sit here, pondering Michael's passing, watching music videos that are patriotic and especially supportive of our military men and women, I am still uncertain...  I do feel the need to express gratitude.

I am grateful to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, and while I may stumble from time to time, I am certain it is truth.  I am also grateful to a Savior who is there to help me when I do stumble.  I am grateful the Harris family also has the Gospel and they are sealed for time and all eternity.  They are an eternal family and will be together again someday.  I am grateful for the many men and women who offer themselves in the name of our country, too many have paid the ultimate price, and too few of us express our thanks.  I am grateful for ancestors who sacrificed, who lived, who made this a great country.  I am thankful for parents, grandparents, and other family members who have been an example to me.  My words will never be enough.  I am especially grateful to a brother in the Army, a brother in law enforcement, an almost-brother in the Air Force, and for a husband who has shown me the importance of willingness to serve and how important service men and women are.  To my examples, to my family, to my Lord, I am grateful.

I ask that thoughts and prayers be with the Harris family at their time of loss.  I ask that we all remember our military, to thank them for their service, both in the past, currently and in the future.  I ask that we thank God everyday that we live in these United States and we do our best to uphold His virtues and remain united.

America the Beautiful

Words by Katharine Lee Bates,
Melody by Samuel Ward

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for halcyon skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the enameled plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till souls wax fair as earth and air
And music-hearted sea!

O beautiful for pilgrims feet,
Whose stem impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till paths be wrought through
wilds of thought
By pilgrim foot and knee!

O beautiful for glory-tale
Of liberating strife
When once and twice,
for man's avail
Men lavished precious life!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee! 

Last Meals?

Made dinner for James tonight.  He likes stuffed bell peppers.  

Now it starts before this, I took two pounds of ground beef and one pound of ground sausage and brown them.  I chopped an onion and crushed and minced some garlic and cooked with the ground beef mixture.  I then divided this mixture into three parts.  

One part was used in a yummy chunky vegetable marinara sauce for spaghetti last week.  Green pepper chunks, mushrooms, zucchini pieces, diced tomatoes, oh that was good spaghetti.

The second part is what I used tonight to make the peppers.  So, ground beef mixture, I reheated in frying pan.  I had cooked a package of white rice--almost like sticky rice the way it turned out--Cindy might be proud...  After the meat mixture had heated, I stirred in some of the rice, stirred and let it cook some with the meat.  I then chopped fresh tomatoes and stirred those into the meat mixture.  I added some coarse ground pepper and seasoned salt.  I also squeezed in prepared mustard and then stirred in some shredded cheese.  At this point I turned off the heat.

On a foil covered sheet pan, I sprayed some pan release (think Pam) and then I stuffed six green pepper halves with my meat/rice mix.  Put those in a preheated 350º F oven and let them bake for 30 minutes.

I am not sure if James ate three or four, but he said they were yummy!  And he also went on about being spoiled recently by my cooking.  I mean, last week the spaghetti sauce sent him reeling--he loved it.  Then I took a pork roast, cut into steaks/chops, made my own Shake'n'Bake--except I fried them in some oil on the stove top.  Even I really like those and was well pleased with my panko breaded chops...

He asked me if he was dying and these were his last meals.  He said he knew he was dying if I made him his Swiss Steak that he likes made with Alphabet soup (how his mom made it) with mashed potatoes...  Just gotta work in some things I like too.  I've been thinking about taco salad for about a week and a half now--or tacos, or something, well, I guess it was tacos first and then it was taco salad when I read a comment on Susie's fb status...

I am not planning on killing him off and I don't mind cooking, I just hate the clean up and I prefer to have the TV where I can watch/listen while I am doing...  I blame mom for leaving the TV on while I napped...  TV is my woobie, I guess.

Now that I am completely off where I started...  I'll be working on cake the next couple of days too...  And maybe some cookies, we'll see...

Tasting Event

On May 20th and 21st, I will be hosting a Tasting Event for my Alison's Pantry business.  Along with my AP products, several friends will also be participating with their own independent businesses.  A mini-fair or boutique if you will...

As part of the event, there will also be a fund-raiser to help with the remaining balance of my reconstructive surgery (the part medicaid DID NOT cover).  I hope you will join us and be willing to contribute.  Any contributions beyond what is necessary will go to support other breast cancer survivors, FYI.

Keep watching for more information...